Plans for Small Island Nation Takeover

1. Download the songs "Take this job and shove it" along with "These boots were made for walking" for ceremonial blasting at top volume when I walk out.

2. Deal with dangling light fixture in back bedroom and sell house.

3. Take ridiculous amounts of money from item #2 and head south (preferably to some place with young, strapping island persons who already know their way around a woman's body; nothing worse than having to train a newbie - a little to the left - now right, etc., etc.).

4. Start selling arts and crafts by the side of the road. (Note to self: learn something 'crafty.').

5. Use monies from arts and crafts to initiate plan to take over aforementioned island; train army for specific 'hits' around the globe (people who are on the top secret hit list - you know who you are). Wahaha!

6. Write 'tell-all' book about rise to power and assumed coup by the locals (add in the further assumption of narrow escape during coup, i.e., running for my life, cat strapped to my back and high tailing it out of Dodge on a motorboat). Course, could go the other way with my head ending up on a stick. . .

7. Assuming head is intact, move to another island (perhaps somewhere slightly larger, colder and with no pressure in the showers).

8. Rinse and repeat.